It’s estimated that 120,0001 parental relationships break down each year in the UK, affecting thousands of children. It has become increasingly common for children to now spend similar amounts of time living between each parent’s home and for parents to equally share child care responsibilities.
Josie Kirk (pictured), Associate Solicitor in the Family Law team at Blacks Solicitors, shares insight on the rise in co-parenting as a solution for separated parents, why this is becoming an increasingly popular choice, and the advantages of this parenting approach for children.
What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting refers to a situation where separated parents or two adults share the duties of parenting a child or children. Many parents are now deciding that on separation, their children will live with them both for an equal amount of time. This often works well and arrangements such as alternating weeks, or splitting the days in a 5/2/2/5 schedule, are gaining popularity. However, co-parenting does not always have to mean an entirely equal 50:50 split of time, it is all about working together and both having substantive and quality input into the children’s lives.
Many parents in court proceedings will submit applications for a ‘Shared Care Order’, more formally known as ‘Joint Lives With Order’. This means that children will legally live and be cared for by both parents.
Rise in co-parenting
The stereotypical notions of separate parental roles have changed greatly over recent years, and many couples who are together share childcare responsibilities to a much greater extent than they did in the past.
If a couple separates, the natural starting point is often for these existing sharing arrangements to continue. However, it is important to remember that there is no ‘default’ position. The main priority of the court is what is in the best interests of the children and not necessarily what the parents consider to be fair. It is possible that this focus on the children’s welfare has encouraged and promoted co-parenting, leading to an increase in its popularity over time.
Are there advantages?
Children benefit enormously from seeing their parents co-parent positively as part of an amicable relationship, especially regarding matters which directly impact their day-to-day lives. Often, children will have a more balanced and meaningful relationship with each parent if both have equal input into important decisions about them, such as education, health, and wellbeing. For the children, this is likely to result in a stronger feeling of security, reduced stress, and improved communication with their parents.
It is really important that parents put their children’s needs first rather than their own. Even if the separation is acrimonious, parents should not use children as ‘bargaining tools’ or ‘weapons’ against each other. When deciding what arrangement works best for the children, it is important to consider all the options available – equal shared care will often be the best option for some families, but a slightly uneven split may work better for others.
Going forward; legal advice and requirements
Many parents, particularly those who decide to co-parent, manage to agree matters between themselves without involving the court or lawyers.
If the parents have not been married to each other and the father or second legal parent is not named on the child’s birth certificate, they will not automatically have parental responsibility, which gives them the legal right to make decisions on behalf of the child, for example about medical treatment or change of name. They can, however, obtain this responsibility via a Parental Responsibility Agreement if the other parent agrees, or they can make an application to the court for a Parental Responsibility Order if there is no agreement.
Parenting Plans are a very helpful way of setting out what you have agreed in relation to a whole variety of subjects, such as introducing new partners or what happens at Christmas. Jointly completing one of these is not a legal requirement, nor is the document legally binding and enforceable, but it does help to guide parents to focus on the needs of the children and improve communication.
For more information, please visit: www.lawblacks.com/family-law
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